Posted by Dustin on 08.06.2007 at 5:12 pm

So I FINALLY go caught up and finished the 5th season of “Footballers Wive$.” Here is the quick recap and my thoughts.

Lucy ended up having a little slumber party with her ex Bruno, who was promoted to team manager for Sparks after Roger was blinded. Lucy wound up pregnant, but didn’t know if she wanted to keep the baby. Bruno did, and after a scare and almost losing the baby, Lucy decided she wanted it to. Only there is a tiny problem . . . . she doesn’t know who the dad is!
She asked the doctor if he could tell if her baby was black! He of course told her not till it was born. Seems like Lucy and Tremaine finally hooked up, which I knew was coming. This is a Jerry Springer moment for sure!

Shannan and Callum found out that Callum’s mum Trish was faking her cancer, when it was revealed in the papers! This seemed to be the beginning of the end for them, as Callum started hitting on other women such as Tanya. He also got a bit nasty with Shannan for criticizing him, and the dope took it!

Meanwhile Liberty had her own problems. She was forced to take some job in Japan where they had her dressed like a cannibal and cooking up white people. This caused a scandal, and Tremaine had finally had it with her.

During a birthday party for Callum, organized by Shannan, Callum was seen getting way to friendly with a stripper at the party. Why she had his party at a strip club I’ll never know! Liberty got Shannan to try some coke. I thought it would be Liberty who would OD and die, but it was Shannan who had the OD!

Tanya finally got her man Paola away from his adoptive mummy, ew! Yes Joan Collins adopted the kid and then turned him into her boy toy! Unfortunately it seems Paloa wasn’t right in the head, and turned to Tanya to be his new mummy! During a party he went nuts and was later committed. Poor Tanya, she never seems to get a good man does she?

Tanya’s problems were far from over, as soon she found out her dead husband was being investigated and her assets were all frozen. Gary Ryan then offered to buy her shares in Sparks and convinced her to make a bad investment. She lost everything AND she had to sleep with the slime too!

Meanwhile Roger confronted Gary about trying to rape Jackie, and Gary let Roger fall to his death in an open elevator shaft. I can’t believe they killed Roger off! Jackie was devastated and decided she was going to Australia to live with Kyle. Tanya and Jackie, before she left, listened to a recording on Roger’s personal dictaphone and learned he taped his final meeting with Gary. Jackie couldn’t deal with it, Tanya promised to take care of him. She used it to blackmail Gary, who in turn seemed to set Tanya up as well.

Unfortunately that was the end of the series. It was canceled in England, and we are now left with a bunch of crummy cliff hangers! At one point there actually was talk they might do a movie for TV to wrap up the loose ends.